Little Fan-Fic of Horrors

A child reading a fan-fiction on the computer... How strange is that? Well, to the average Joe it would seem as normal as mangos, but to me, the all-powerful Narrator, I know better...

Yes, this ritual happens all over the world every moment of every day. People not much unlike you sit down in front of the computer over the Internet to see what interesting stories they may be able to experience that day. Oh but how wrong that phrase is. Because to some of you, and you know who you are, have learned that Fan-Fics aren’t just stories, but are sometimes entire adventures at a time. And this, my fellow courageous readers, is one brave souls adventure.

Queue Twilight Zone music. Open curtains to stage ahead. Young 10-year-old boy walks up on stage. Boy: Welcome to my world. I will allow you to share my experience of the wacky and crazy adventures that I have seen. Now brace yourself for the ride of your week! Please do not continue reading if you have a history of heart problems, are currently pregnant, have head injury, or a loose bladder. Thank you! Curtains close...

A boy sits in front of his computer in his room reading a fan-fic of Digimon: Digital Monsters. Seemingly, the Internet is the place for all that is Digimon. Not to say that it is the only place for it, though. Digimon successfully attempted to leave their shell of protection inside the virtual world and have learned to take steps towards taking over the marketing world. With such a threat in today’s society, someone must stop it. And with such a loyal follower as this boy, the Digimon plan for world domination seems almost inevitable...

Earlier: We’ve got to train for this battle.

Boy: Digimon are sooo cool! Go Rockomon! You rule Stickomon! No one can defeat you Lampomon! Digimon is sooo cool! Can there possibly be any cooler anime than Digimon? NO WAY!

Out of nowhere, Goku appears along with Vegeta. Goku: What did you just say kid? I am sorry but I strongly disagree with your opinion.

Vegeta: You fool, Kakarat! You can’t reason with these beings called children! They will run you over if you give them the chance! I’ll show you how to deal with them! Arrrghh!! Vegeta, Power up! Vegeta begins to power up and starts to turn into a Super Saiyan! While he does this he can’t move! He must have chosen this time very wisely.

Goku: Vegeta, you always resort to violence. We should talk this out first and maybe we could come to some sort of peaceful agreement that we will both be happy with. Goku turns to boy. What’s your name kid?

Boy: Barker. Joey Barker. Joey looks around the room and sees a chance to get to the baseball bat across his room. Vegeta is still powering up.

Goku: Well Joey, how about we agree that each anime, both Dragon Ball Z and Digimon have there good and bad points. For instance.. OHHH!!!! Joey kicks Goku below the belt and leaps for his bat across his bed. Vegeta is still powering up.

Joey: All right you kind freak and glowing mistake! I’m going to knock your memories into last week! Joey swings his bat and smacks Goku straight in the head for a total knockout. Goku also falls out the window. Then he looks and Vegeta, who is still powering up and has a way to go to reach Super Saiyan, and just pushes him out the window.

Joey: Ha, ha, ha! That’ll teach em from messing with me! Because when I got the Power of Digimon by my side, nothing can stop me! Digimon is absolutely the best ever Anime of all Time!!!

Then, again out of no where, Tenchi and his associates, Princess Ayeka, Ryoko, Princess Sasami, Washu, Kiyone, Mihoshi, Ryo-ohki, and Tenchi’s Grandpa, appear alongside Joey’s bed.

Tenchi: What? Of all time! Ha! No way. We were here long before Digimon ever cursed this earth. Yes, me and my pals were here in the OVA(original video art) back in the day! I’m sorry kid, but you can only cause trouble to us all. Who knows, you could be the next one to try to overthrow the Jurai Empire. We can’t let that happen again. Tenchi and his grandpa reach out and grab a hold of 2 very menacing looking sturdy sticks. Die child!

Ryoko: Oh, Tenchi, why should we fight right now? How about we let them fight and we go off in the other room... he, he, he, he!

Tenchi: Ryoko, are you drunk again?

Ryoko: No! Not all that bad, at least.. Let me show you. I can still swing a blade! Ryoko extends her arm and creates an energy ball that then flattens out into a long Darth Maul-like double light saber without a center handle.

Joey: Oh dam. Joey leaps around his room much like... gummy bears, jumping here and there and every where, with speed and grace beyond compare, just like a gummy bear, just like a gummy bear! Tenchi and his Grandpa are swinging there sticks and bashing lamps, breaking his bed in half, and knocking over a Digimon doll all with one swing. Washu is releasing mini-nukes behind Joey, and Kiyone and Mihoshi are shooting him with their blasters, and Ryoko is throwing red energy balls, burning holes in the floor. A violent site shows upon ones eyes.

Princess Ayeka and her flying blocks of wood aren’t exactly making it any easier. As if by a blessing, or a curse, they all start to miss every so often and actually hit each other. Half destroying the room and half shooting each other, they put away their weapons and resort to hand to hand combat. Joey rips out the bat and starts swinging at Ayeka’s head. Havoc alongside with bliss erupts in all out chaos. Finally, as if Joey’s life has come to an end, they all surround him leaving him nowhere to go. But wait! By the window. A lowly arm starts to reach in from the outside.

Joey: HEY, look at the hand! Ooohh, aaahhh. Every one turns and starts ooing and aaing too. And finally the figure climbs up and over the windowsill. It is Vegeta! He is back from the dead, apparently from the way he looks. Falling 2 stories while hitting many branches is not a good thing. Also it looks like Vegeta has finally powered up. His hair is now blond instead of black. All Super Saiyan’s hair turns blond.

Ayeka: And who, may I ask, are you? How dare you interrupt this fun... I MEAN intense battle.

Vegeta: I am Vegeta! And I am the most powerful fighter in the Galaxy! Bwa, ha, ha, ha, ha,.... Vegeta laughs and laughs. Will this ever end? Quickly, as Vegeta is distracted by his own pride, Tenchi’s grandpa makes a super high leap with his stick in the air and slices through the roof as he brings it down towards Vegeta’s head. You dare challenge me?! I am the all-powerful Super Saiyan! Vegeta raises his hand and creates an energy ball as large as his big head and launches it towards Tenchi and crew. The ball gets closer, and closer, and closer..........Meeeooowww!!!

Queue Lonely music. Open curtains to stage ahead. Joey walks up on stage. Joey: Well, well. That was one hey of a day I got to tell you. The next morning when I woke up, my house was completely destroyed. I found a note on what was left of the refrigerator and it said that my mom had gone shopping. Again, I was alone. Since the Super Saiyan energy ball was so powerful, and there seemed to be no trace of any of the wacky fighters from the day before, it must have sent all of them back where they came from. Where ever that is... Curtains close...

Joey, having lost his house, now lives and watches TV in his neighbors, and best friends, house. His parents still live in their old house. Strange that they haven’t noticed anything different... He hasn’t had any similar incidents to the one the day before, so as of now his week seems only semi-weirder than usual.

Joey, having nothing better to do, goes upstairs to hang out in his friend’s room. He turns on the computer and logs on to the net. Soon he finds a page with some good Digimon fan-fics and shuffles around until he feels comfortable enough for a long story. His friend’s room has the same setup as his room so he feels just like he’s at home. All except one thing. Those wacky and crazy things that always happen around his house only rarely, if ever, happen over here. At least they used to be only exclusively for his house...

Earlier: Mission Accepted.

Unknown voice on a megaphone: Come out with your hands up!

Joey: What the hey! Looks out the window. Some neglected-hair kid is standing down in the street with some other pony-tailed guy/gal (still undecided).

Unknown voice on a megaphone2: Yea, what he said!

Unknown voice on a megaphone: You are charged under jurisdiction 301 of the UCA (United Citizen Alliance) in having devoted yourself to an inferior anime!

Unknown voice on a megaphone2: According to the law, Digimon bites big gerbils! You are now under our control to fix and mold you in the perfect image of the YMCA!

Unknown voice on a megaphone: It’s the UCA, Duo...

Unknown voice on a megaphone2: Oh yea! Those guys! What do they do again? Oh put that down Heero. Let’s not resort to violence! I was just kidding! I know who they are! They hired us after the war! I know, see! Please, oh no! You’re getting to close. Back off!

Joey: This just ain’t right. I’m outta here.

Heero: Look what you’ve made me do! I lost the culprit! Dam it, Duo! You’re always kidding around so much!

Duo: Well, I can’t help it if I am the funny man!

Heero: Just keep quiet and follow me. We’ve got a mission to accomplish. Suit up!

Joey is heading towards the door, when all of a sudden a huge robot flies into his face! Joey: Ah! Get it off me, get it off me! Wait a second. This is only a toy model. And it’s falling apart. What is this thing anyway? Poor Joey. He is so unaware of the horror that is about to befall him.

Heero: Come on Duo! Let’s get em! Lift up the roof!

Duo: He, he, he! Here kitty, kitty, kitty! Duo lifts up the roof amazingly since he is only a little taller that Joey. Wait a second. That isn’t the Duo from before! It’s,... it’s a Big Robot!

Duo: No, you fool! It’s a Gundam!

Heero: Stop reading people minds and let’s get the job done. Grab him and put him in your guest department.

Duo: Ooo! Joey, go with Peppy. She looks way better! Yea!

Heero: Duo...

Duo: Oh yea, sorry. Come on, now. Jump into my hand and it’ll all be over real soon. Joey has to thing fast! What would you do if you were in this type of situation? Quick, think! If you got a real good idea maybe Joey will do it in this story! We’ll give you a couple lines to think. Go, go, go!

Have you been thinking? Well think some more!

Done? Well, I guess that’s as much as you can think, anyway. You don’t think much, do you? Oh well. What you were thinking wasn’t good enough for this story. We like to fill our pages with something other than space.

Joey covers his eyes and hopes for the best. Duo proceeds to lower his big robot.. I mean Gundam hand down towards Joey as if he were picking up a candy he had dropped. Joey needs some help! Wait, Joey slightly opens his eyes for a second and from the corner of his eye, he can see a spaceship coming down from the sky! Maybe it is here to save him! Joey stands up and runs downstairs and out the door.

Duo: Hey, come back! I didn’t pick you up yet!

Heero: Let’s go get em. The space ship starts to land in the front yard and it is some pointy black-gray ship with a shiny red dome on the top center.

Ship: Meeeooowww!

Joey: Okay... this is so weird I thinking about going with the Gundams.

Ship: Meeeooowww! The ship starts to shrink from metal into fur! What? That isn’t just a spaceship! It’s a gray bunny that can turn into a spaceship and meows like a cat! The ship is so small now that the person inside the ship has come out.

Joey: Oh my gosh! It’s Vegeta!

Vegeta: Bwa, ha, ha! Yes, it I, Vegeta! The all-powerful Super Saiyan! I escaped using this bizarre Bunny-Cat thing that this other lady with spiky hair was trying to use. Ryoko, I think her name was... Oh it doesn’t matter now because I left on some planet called Jurai that she kept on yelling not to go to. Lots of people surrounded her with big electric sticks when we landed and I threw her out of the ship. She is probably the queen there. They needed to protect their queen.

Joey: I think she was using reverse psychology on you. (Sarcastically)

Vegeta: Well then, it didn’t work! Ha, ha, ha... oh wait... Get out of my face, kid! You caused all of this to happen with you and your Digimon-loving ways! Now I’m going to make you pay for what you’ve done to me!

Heero: I don’t think so, sir. We’ve got custody of this guy and we’re bringing him in for brainwashing so we can wipe that Digimon out of his mind. He will soon be a loyal follower of Gundam Wing. Our anime is truly superior.

Vegeta: What?! I’ll show you which anime is truly superior! Vwa, ha, ha!

Heero: Charge up your lasers, Duo! Hwa, ha, ha!

Duo: No, I’ll get the prisoner! Dwa, ha, ha!

Heero: No! You fooooool! Duo reaches down to grasp the little Joey. As he does, Vegeta jumps into the air and brings down his hand with a crushing blow of glowing proportion. Duo: My Gundam’s leg! Oh no! You freak! You destroyed my leg!

Vegeta: Bwa, ha, ha! And now you can’t go anywhere! That means I can take your little robot friend easily without you in the way! Bwa, ha, ha!

Heero: He, he, ha, ha, ha! Bwa, ha, ha, ha, ha! You’re the fool! No one can take me on! Take this! Heero lifts up his buster cannon and charges it up for a powerful blast. He fires and it almost blow a hole right through Vegeta! His innards are almost leaking. Eewww! You were no contest. Now Duo, turn on your secondary power source and let’s get that kid. We have reprogramming to do.

Duo: Sure thing, Heero.

Vegeta: I’ll get him first! Vegeta starts to chase after Joey. Duo turns on his jet boost on the back and he starts to float around in his Gundam after Joey.

Joey: Geese! Will anything save me?! Help! Then, all of a sudden, Bill Clinton walks up the street with Monica Lewinsky. Wait a second! That isn’t Monica. That’s Duo’s girlfriend, Hieldi! She wears a bonnet just like Monica. Oh my gosh! Another Whitehouse scandal!

Duo: What the hey!? Hieldi, get away from that filthy man! I’m so much better than him! Right?....

Hieldi: What? Duo! It’s.. it’s not what you think! He gave me a job at the Whitehouse. Would you refuse?

Duo: Yes! Were not even from the same geometric planes as them! Now come back to your 2-D boyfriend and let’s forget this incident ever happened.

Hieldi: Well...

Vegeta: Oooohhh! So you have a weakness! Ha, ha, ha! Leave it up to me to exploit it! Vegeta powers up a ball in his hand and launches it at Hieldi. Duo becomes enraged!

Duo: I’m enraged! Raaaer, raaaer, raaaer! Duo lifts up his Gundam hand and a Scythe appears in it. It is powered by green energy. The double green energy blade of the scythe comes down and smashes into Vegeta! Vegeta starts to fly off into the ocean near by.

Vegeta: Joey, I’ll be back to get you, and your Digimon too! Vegeta starts to fade out into the horizon...

Heero: Well, Duo, I am impressed. You can get the job done! Now let me deal with the kid. Heero jumps out of his Gundam and chases after Joey on foot. All of a sudden, another really big robot comes out from the other side of some houses. It’s just as big as a Gundam but looks like a skinny guy in a skintight gymnast suit.

Unknown voice from robot: I am Eva1 and I have come here to stop your impersonation of the robots from the anime Evanglion! Evanglion was owner of giant robots before Gundam Wing was! I, Shinji, will stop you single handling! All of a sudden Shinji, inside his Evanglion, starts to spasm out and on the outside his Evanglion looks like it’s going into an epileptic seizure. He soon passes out and the Evanglion takes over his mind! Shinji is getting great headaches! When he wakes up he’ll have the hangover of a lifetime.

Heero: What about Transformers or Power Rangers? Heero jumps back into his Gundam.

Evanglion: They are no longer a threat on this Earth.

Duo: Heero, that’s not good. As the robots go to war and it starts to get a little wild, Joey slowly sneaks away while tripping on some bizarre cord that ran through the city connected to the Evanglion’s back...

Queue psychotic music. Open curtains to stage ahead. Joey walks up on stage. Joey: My life has just gotten weirder. What is happening? Can this get any worse? Those robots are still battling off somewhere in the Rockies or something. That Evanglion is said to be getting slower and slower. What’s up with that! It seemed so full of life before. I don’t think I’ll hear anymore from them, though. That’s a plus. But what else could go wrong? I still want to read my fan-fics! Curtains close...

Joey finally came to terms that the only place he could be safe in was his own home. His parents called a redecorator to the house because they sensed something wrong that they could not pinpoint on their own. The redecorator fixed the whole house then billed them for it. His parents weren’t expecting such a big bill so they accused him of ripping them off and refused to pay, kicking him out of the house. Of course only with his parents around could he truly create a safe environment for him to safely read fan-fics. He did everything in his power to keep his parents home at all times. It worked for 5 days. Then, his dad had a huge business meeting that could not avoided and his mom had to go out shopping to get some food or else they would all starve within a day.

With all hope seeming lost, Joey’s only hope was that all the strange occurrences were things of random un-predictability. If that were true, then at least there would be some chance that today would be a day that none of the weirdoes that roamed the world would look in his direction...

Earlier: Come on, guys! We can win this battle if we really try! Back up singers break out with “You can do it if you really try, you can do it if you really try. Open up and stay alive, you can do it if you really, really try!” Yea! With the power of ONE!

Joey: He, he, he! It’s 6 o’clock and nothing bad has happened yet! Ha, ha, ha! only 4 more hours until I go to bed and all my parents will come back when I wake up! He, he, he! Well, until then, I’ll just keep on reading all these fan-fics. Geese, am I obsessed with fics or what! Without warning, the house begins to rumble from what’s left of it’s foundation and from 3 different directions, 3 people walk from in front, the back, and to the left of Joey’s room straight to him.

Boy: We are here to end all that is Digimon.

Girl: You cannot continue this useless worship of Communistic powers.

Boy2: If we can’t stop you, our associates can!

Joey: Who the hey are you guys? I’m not doing anything until you tell me that.

Boy: Uh, okay. I’m Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town.

Girl: I’m Misty, a legendary Cerulean Sister. Or at least a sister of the sisters.

Boy2: And I’m Brock. Some other guy... uh, Tracy I think, used to be in my place. But then he got irresponsible and could not uphold my position as women-lover and caretaker of these young children. So I gave him a one-way ticket to the hospital. They all start to laugh hysterically just like what I, the narrator, am doing now.

Ash: And we are here to stop your Digimon with the power of Pokemon!

Joey: What!? Digimon aren’t even real! How can Pokemon be? By the way, I hate Pokemon! My evil rival from school used to play with Pokemon! I hate him! He was always better than me...

Brock: That’s where you’re wrong, kid. Digimon is very real. Just like how Pokemon left the video gaming world and left to take the world by storm, Digimon too began it’s own campaign to take over the marketing world from it’s own digital world! We must stop them by stopping their one and only biggest support. You!

Misty: Yea, your computer is on so much that they are allowed to transfer items very easily between worlds. And with you out of the way, they won’t be able to transfer things between the digital world and the real world as quickly.

Ash: Giving us time enough to venture into their world and confront them when they are all going though a Great Depression of their own! Ha, ha, ha! You remember what happened when the USA hit the Great Depression. Almost the entire country stopped. And the Digimon, with no more transferring of goods, will go through the same thing!

When we sneak in we’re going to plant a bomb in the digital world and blow them all to smithereens! The world as we know it will succeed and prosper all because Digimon was stopped at such an early stage!

Joey: You guys can’t do that! Digimon can take over whatever world they want to! But Pokemon can’t! They bite!

Ash: Fine, it seems that we can’t do the job that easily. Well, I do know someone, or some things that can! Pokemon go! Pikachu, Blastoise, Charizard, Snorlax, Venusaur, and Ryoyoki all pop out of some Pokeballs! This is too bizarre! Let’s take out Ryoyoki before she transforms and kills them all. Instead, Wufie comes out of that Pokeball.

Wufie: What the hey!? Where am I? And who are these weird animals?

Ash: Their not animals, their Pokemon! By the way, what kind of Pokemon are you? Let me check my Pokedex. The Pokodex, encyclopedia of all things Pokemon, shows Ash that Wufie is a Injustice Freak type and has moves that have not been recorded yet. Wufie looks like a real stupid Pokemon.

Wufie: I’m not a Pokemon! Why am I in that Pokewhatitz thing! Ah! Wufie can’t fight at this time at all. The other Pokemon can, though. They grab a hold of Joey and start beating him down gang-style.

Joey: No! I’m doomed! I need help!

Wufie: No, I need help even more! I don’t even know where I am half of the time! I must be going senile! Wufie continues to huddle himself in a little corner.

Joey: Help!!!! All of a sudden out of nowhere, and this is a good thing this time, Joey’s computer started to glow! What? Could it be what we’re all thinking? No! It’s not! It’s Digimon! Not your favorite anime character here to save the day! At least it wouldn’t be if that were what you were thinking. If it wasn’t, go back 3 sentences and start thinking that. All that Digimon are coming out of the computer of all kind of sizes and shapes! One of a lamp, one of a belt, one of a stick, and one of a dinosaur!

Digimon: We are Lampomon, Beltomon, Stickomon, and Greyomon! Back off the kid and we will show you! All the Pokemon let go of Joey so that they can get into a good fight. They just can’t resist!

Lampomon: Take solar beams of death! Lampomon turns on! He blinds Pikachu!

Stickomon: I’ll beat you till you leaf! Everyone groans and Charizard faints!

Beltomon: Take my whipping power! Beltomon whips Snorlax! It does nothing...

Greyomon: I’m going to use Bite!

Ash: That’s a Pokemon move!

Greyomon: Fine, I’ll use nibble! Greyomon nibbles on Venusaur and he faints also! Stickomon smacks Snorlax on the back of the head, what a cheap shot! Snorlax passes out.

Ash: Blastoise! Do something! Blastoise nods and yells into the air to the top of it lungs.

Blastoise: BLLAAAAASSSSTTTTOOOIIIIISSSEEE!!!!!!! With this call, the beach nearby starts to flood. All of a sudden, a Pokemon that everyone has seen before starts to emerge from the water. It’s Lapras. He is a big riding Pokemon with a powerful shell on his back. His ice abilities will sure help out here. But wait, there’s more! Something is on it’s back. What is it?

Ash: Who’s that homeless guy riding my Lapras?

Joey: That’s no homeless guy! That’s Vegeta!

Vegeta: Uggghhh... Yes, it is I, the all powerful back from the dead, ready to kick some Digimon butt, and stop anyone who gets in my way of revenge Vegeta! Okay.. kid.. you’ve had your last meal. Kicked the bucket, you hear? Yea, your gonna hang up your tennis shoes...

Joey: What kind of threat was that last one? He must be really under the weather.

Brock: I don’t care if this kid beat you up many times! We’re here to stop him in the name of all that is good. You can’t interfere with something so right!

Vegeta: Is that so? Well then, all of you take this! Vegeta then powers up an energy ball so powerful in his hand that it can only be described as an Ultra Energy Ball! It is so powerful that is said to have the power of 10 spirit bombs! Vegeta is starting to launch it at our characters! Who will save them? What?! What’s that! Something amiss all the light. I... I can barley make it out. It looks like a boy...

Wufie: It is I, the all powerful Wufieomon! Hey, go with the flow, I always say!

Ash: But Wufie! What can you do? You suck!

Wufie: Don’t worry, Ash. Wufie’s voice changes to Mel Gibson. He sounds very soothing and righteous. Just leave it all up to me. Remember, even if I am gone, you still can be it all. Believe in yourself and always remember, one can make a difference! Of course, with his or her own proper sidekicks. Wufie continues to fly towards Vegeta and his Ultra Energy Ball. Closer, closer, closer...

Misty: Wufie is using an attack! Amazing! Find out what it is! Wufie begins to give a long speech!

Wufie: The meaning of injustice! Wufie punches Misty. That was injustice! Duo, returning from the earlier battle of the Evanglion, which had ran out of energy, runs up to Wufie to attack him from behind for no apparent reason. Wufie swings his fist up over his shoulder and punches Duo in the head without even looking. Nods his head, Justice. A disco ball drops from above and he starts to dance the Funky Chicken. Sings, I don’t want to be a chicken, I don’t want to be a duck, so I’ll strut my stuff, da, da, da, da! Continues with more pointless speaches and disgusting displays of body movement for about 10 minutes. Eventually Vegeta passes out of boredom.

Ash: It’s called The Injustice Speach! It’s a lot like Lulluby or Sing. And it worked!

Wufie: Now it’s time to finish this job! Everyone get out of here! Ahh! Wufie runs up to sleeping Vegeta and hugs him tight! Everyone runs away from that. Joey runs towards a nearby tree while all the rest of them start to go back to where they came from. Where ever that is... The Digimon return to the computer and unplug it. The Pokemon people just run into the sunset, and Duo leaps into a sewer duct. Is that where he belongs? All of a sudden, Vegeta wakes up!

Vegeta: What the...!!! Wufie cuts in.

Wufie: Self Destruct!!!! Booooooommmm!!! Vegeta is blown into a million pieces. Wufie is badly injured and pulled down a nearby manhole by someone... All of a sudden, they start to come back! Now that Vegeta is gone, they can all openly destroy Joey!

Joey: Oh my gosh... I’m doomed. Unless... Joey quickly runs inside his house and to his fridge. He grabs a can of pop and gets a bag of Pop Rocks on his way out the door. Joey rips the top of the Rocks package and pops open the can. He sticks the package on the top of the pop and shakes it up good!

Joey: See you in hey, suckers! Joey throws the explosive and it detonates right as he gets near his house. The blast blows him upwards and in though his bedroom window where he lands on his bed and passes out...

Queue triumph music. Open curtains to stage ahead. Joey walks up on stage. Joey: Yes! I won! I won! Wufie saved us all when it just got bad. Yea, leave it to Wufie to have the worst Pokemon move in the universe. Self-destruct... sheesh! Who uses that anyways! Oh and yea, I learned some valuable lessons. Never leave your computer on when you’re not supervising it. Always keep fresh milk. You never know when you might need some. And always know where to kick someone. Wait a second!? None of these lessons are that important to this story! Forget this.

Here are the real Lessons! Saiyans are almost super human! They don’t die unless you decapitate them or blow them up! Any cool character can die! How could Shinji from that cool show Evanglion croak in such a lousy way! And last but not least, your old rivals will come back to haunt you! Who ever thought that my old rivals obsession would come back to kill me!? Oh well. The best lesson that I have learned is that Digimon is dangerous and weak, while Pokemon is cool and powerful! Remember that, and maybe you won’t experience the same horror that I have...

THE END

Epilogue

Joey, the real winner in the story, has started to read Pokemon fan-fics and he loves them better than Digimon. Yet he has two new favorite characters.

Joey: Yeah, another Tracy and Togepi story! They rule! I love those guys so much! I mean Tracy’s ability to draw is far superior to any thing that idiot Brock used to do. And Togepi, why just the name itself is power in the rawest form.

Some people will never learn…