{ A and R }

By Dan C.

����������� Host:� Do, do, do, do!� It�s the A and R Show!� With your hostess�s, Ayeka...� Tenchi will be mine!� And Ryoko...� Ayeka, your so cheesy!� (Cheers)

����������� Today�s show is live and on location at Six Flags Great America!� Gurnee, IL. has agreed to take all responsibility of any accidents that may result because of this visit.� Although this is a tremendous risk, (See last show) the publicity of Six Flags will greatly improve to the public concerning recent problems with some of the top roller coasters.

����������� We�ll see our hostess�s go though Scary roller coasters!� Adventurous water rides!� And watch Exciting shows!� Sit tight, grab some gerbils, and watch the A and R show!� (Cheers)

Ryoko:� Hi ya�ll!� It�s a great day here at Six Flags and it so great to be walking about the park!� For now, before we get on any rides, let�s take a bit of a tour!� We�re going to walk a bit and talk a bit about some of the recent events that have happened to the park.� I can hardly believe that Gurnee would willingly take all responsibility for any accidents that may happen while we�re here.

Ayeka:� Willingly?� They were practically forced into agreeing with this hopeless contract or else no one might ever come back to this park!�

����������� The recent safety concerns with some of the most popular roller coasters have caught the eye of the people.� Now they are concerned about their safety and whether it is still safe to attend Six Flags.� Blah, blah, blah...

Ryoko:� Mikes gay.

Ayeka:� Gay?� Can we really say that on television?� And who�s Mike?

Ryoko:� Of course we can!� At least we can do it now.� This show is being broadcasted live.� Anything we say or do will be seen by anyone who is watching.� And, oh yea, Mikes my new boyfriend!� Ayeka considers this for a moment.

Aeka:� I love you, Tenchi!� Ryoko was the one who broke the cookie jar last week!� She also drank all the saki to top it off!� You see how this woman is?� You see how much of a pig she can be?

Ryoko:� Ayeka, I really think your starting to abuse the privilege.� Since this is real time t.v., I guess now the public will see me killing you in real time.� Come here so I can twist your neck, Ayeka!� Ah!!!�

Ayeka:� Oh no!� I have got to think of something!� Um..� Ah...� um, Ryoko, how can your boyfriend like you if he�s gay?� Hmm?� Hmm?� Hmm?

Ryoko:� Um...� I don�t know...� Ryoko stops her assault and sits down on a bench and actually looks like she is putting some thought into something.�

Ayeka:� So, your actually thinking, is it?� Amazing.� Hm...� Well since Miss Ryoko so busy in her new found talent, I guess that will leave me to entertain you guests out there!� Oh, how much fun!

Ryoko:� Hmm...� Uh, what?� Uh, no way!� I mean, not just you all day.� Let me think some more...� Hmm...� I... I... I... I... I think.. I got an idea!� How about I get a camera... and... and you... you get a... a... a camera too.� Yea, that could work...� How bout it, Ayeka?� I mean your so smart already.� How can my petty ideas possibly compare to your brainstorms?

Ayeka:� Hmm... Your mocking me, Ryoko.� I�ll get you later...� But as for your idea, I think it is a wonderful idea.� I�ll grab a camera crew and you can keep the one that is currently here.� All right?

Ryoko:� Uh, yea sure.� Whatever.� I got some places I want to go anyways.�

Ayeka:� All right!� Ayeka begins to jump up and down.� Now that I have rightfully claimed this broadcast crew as mine, I will express all my feelings that I had when I first thought about starting this show!� It will be as that Ryoko character had never touched this show!� How much joy!� Come now, my children!� We have much to film!� We are off to the Bugs Bunny Sing-Along Play!� Yea!� I feel so renewed!� Wow!� Come on!� Can�t you keep up?� The camera crew are fat and trying their best to keep up with this young energetic girl that seems as if she had been reborn.� Well, off they go.

Fuzz...� Fuzz...

Ryoko:� Okay.� Ryoko grabs the camera in her hands and puts her face up in front of it.� Apparently there�s a bit of a problem on our hands.� With Ayeka on one cam and me on another, you think we might get some cool 2-camera split screen thing going on, right?� Well...� I just talked to the producers and they said that something like that would cost to much.� So we�re going to have to go with switching back and forth.� I am expecting the camera to be on me much more often.� Since I will be on all the cool rides!� Now, come on!� We�re hittin the Batman!� Woo!�

����������� Ryoko starts running off like a school girl, waving her hands in the air and all, and the camera is bobbing terribly after her.� She doesn�t even look where she�s going!� Her excited tail starts to smack people in the face and some even get hairballs!

Fuzz...� Fuzz...

Ayeka:� Oh, welcome back!� This is such a fun play!� Look at that fat rooster shake his stuff around!� I wish that could be me up there...� Oh!� But I�m a princess and that would be unheard of!� She looks around and so happens to see Tenchi here at the park watching the show, too!� He�s rooting for some other lady on stage that�s dancing with the actors in the suits!� How dare he!� I�ll show him!� ...� But better yet...� How about I show him who the real entertainer is.� I mean, I am a professional talk show host.� How hard can hosting a Sing-Along be?

����������� Ayeka walks around back with the cameras following her and she tells them to wait for her up front.� So the camera guys go up front to wait for her.� They sit next to Tenchi and he looks over to them seeing the A and R Show logos printed on the side of the cameras.

Tenchi:� One day this will be my downfall...

Ayeka:� The other dancing girl is mysteriously pulled of stage and Ayeka walks out on the stage in the same T-shirt and short-short pants, complete with a cool microphone headset so she can talk through the speakers!� Hello all you people out there!� Have you been having fun here at Six Flags?� (Cheers)

����������� All right!� Well prepare for even more fun!� Hit it Bugs!� Bugs starts a record and hill-billy music starts to play.� Banjo, jug, steel barrel and spoons all start playing on the record and out from the sky Azaka and Kamadake bring down just what they need.� Banjo, jug, steel barrel and spoons!�

����������� The whole gang up on stage gets involved with Ayeka on the Banjo and soon everyone starts to get up and dance a little bit themselves!� The music is so catchy, it would be almost be inhuman not to dance to it!� Even Tenchi finds himself getting up and moving around a bit.�

Tenchi:� Wow Ayeka!� You really can run a great music show!�

Ayeka:� Blushing� Oh, thank you so very much, Tenchi!� Camera guy waves to Aeka that they have to break to a commercial.� Oh!� Oh, very then.� I guess this performance can take a commercial too!� Tenchi, would you mind coming with me to the next stop on my list?

Tenchi:� Oh of course!� What is it?

Aeka:� Nothing scary.� Just the Ricochet!

Commercial

����������� Picture of a cow.� A very handsome cow.� Two cows walk up to it.� One purple spotted cow and one powder blue spotted cow.� They start to hug the black spotted cow.� Then they start shoving each other.� Angry moos come out of them.� Purple spotted cow: Mooooooo!� Powder blue spotted cow: Moooooooooooo! �Black spotted cow:� Moo...� He�s got the spots.� Close up on� black spotted cow�s spots.� He�s got the tail.� Close up on black spotted cow�s flickering tail.� And he�s got the females.� Tenchi the Cow.� Watch it on Saturdays at 3:30 AM.� Rated M for extreme violence and cheesiness.� Picture of a mailman.� He walks up to Tenchi, the cow.� Mailman:� Excuse me, are you Tenchi Mooooooyo?

����������� And now back to the A and R show!

Ryoko:� Television snow.� Fuzz... Fuzz...� Hey!� Hey!� Can anyone hear me?� Hello!� Screen clears up.� Hello?� Ryoko grabs the camera in her hands and puts her face up in front of it.� We�ve got a problem with the satellite.� That�s all.� She pushes the camera away from her.�

����������� Anyway, welcome back people.� Can you believe that Ayeka?� Hanging around my Tenchi?� Geese, trying to keep him all for herself!� She�s so greedy!� I�m so glad I�m not like her.� Yea, I would share Tenchi to show my good kindness.

����������� Well, anyways, we�ve been stuck in this freakin� line for about an hour now.� This sucks!� What�s going on up there anyways?� There seems to be some type of fight or something.� You�d think that at such an advanced park that they would be able to find a way to get lines to move faster.� Geese.� Advances in technology my swingin� tail.

����������� Listen camera guys.� I�m going go up there and check what�s going on.� See if you can keep and eye on me.� Try raising the camera up or something.� I don�t care.� Just let the audience see as much as possible.

Camera Guy:� Uh, wait a second.� Miss Ryoko?� Ryoko had already left and floated up and over the crowd.� Um, can someone like host this thing while I film it?� How �bout you, John?

John:� Um, okay.� Let�s see.� It seems that there is some type of conflict going on up near the entrance to the ride.� I really don�t see why Miss Ryoko had to go up there right now.� We had only a couple more minutes anyway.� Hm.� Seems like a ride attendant is arguing with a customer.� Oh, the argument has reached a new level.� The ride attendant and the man have begun to physically fight with each other!� And of course, Miss Ryoko is cheering them on...

����������� Oh my gosh!� The ride attendant missed the man and socked Miss Ryoko right in the face!� A left, a right, and a left, and a right!� No way!� The flight attendant exploded!� Oh my gosh!� It�s amazing!� Such a battle and Miss Ryoko only got touched once!� It seems that the line is moving much faster now.� We better start to put this stuff away so we can get on the ride.� Well then, this is John signing off.� Man, I always wanted to do t...� Ooof!

�

Ryoko:� Get out of my way!� Come on!� It�s our turn!� Yea!� The camera crew pack the equipment in a bag and left it at the near the exit of the ride with the camera still watching them.� You did good John.� Not bad.� Not bad at all.� Boy!� Woo!� This is going to be one spectacular ride!� I heard that this ride was made for speed.� I wonder how it�s gonna look like from the audiences view!� Wait a second?� How can the audience experience the thrill of Batman the ride if all they see is the inside of a black bag?� We got to get the equipment out of there and onto this ride!

John:� Well, we are on a roller coaster.� There�s a lot of ups and downs and loop-de-loops.� Not to many cameras can put up with that.� Especially not ours.

Ryoko:� Well, your right.� We can�t help that.� But there has to be another way!� Ryoko goes to the bag and starts to rummage around.� Don�t you guys have some portable camera or something?� Something I could bring with me on the rides?� Oh wait, how �bout this?� She brings out a mini-microphone and puts it on her shirt collar.� She also finds a small camera and roughly tapes it on top of her head.� Her hair is a mess.� Well... more of a mess to be exact.

John:� Miss Ryoko, uh, that equipment doesn�t work very well.� They don�t have a very long range and the quality is pretty bad and we don�t even know how well they work overall.� I�m not to sure you want to use that stuff.

Ryoko:� Oh come on!� What can possibly go wrong!� The camera on Ryoko�s head explodes.� Waahhh!!!� What the hey?� What kind of junk do you guys use anyways?� All I got left is this microphone for the ride.� Oh, well.� No time to waste looking for a new one now.� Okay folks.� while I get on these rides, your going to get to hear the action up close and first hand!� Get ready for the sounds of a lifetime!

John:� What ever you say, Miss Ryoko.

Ryoko:� Woo!� Yea!� Let�s go!� Ryoko and the crew jump into their seats and pull down the overhead latch.� Don�t forget to buckle up!� No one ever likes to fly off half way though the Batman ride.� Heeere...��� weeee...��� goooo!

����������� Aahh!� rumble... rumble... wee!� rumble... rumble... whoa! �rumble... rumble... ya!� rumble... rumble... kawaii!� rumble... rumble... oooo..� rumble... rumble... uhhh....� rumble... rumble... I...� rumble... rumble... don�t feel...� rumble... rumble... to well...� rumble... rumble... rumble... rumble... rumble... rumble........

����������� .......... Blech!!!

Fuzz...� Fuzz...

Ayeka: �Oh Tenchi!� Your so funny!� Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Tenchi:� Oh thanks, Ayeka.� Tenchi and Ayeka�s hair is slightly pulled back from the Ricochet.� Um, Ayeka, do you want another drink?

Ayeka:� No, that�s okay.� I�m fine.� Hm?� Is that the roller coaster that Ryoko said she was going on?�

Tenchi:� I think so.� Hey, I think that�s them!� Let�s wave to em!� Hey Ryoko!� Hey!� Hi!

Ayeka:� Hi Ryoko!� Hello there!� Hi!

����������� .......... Blech!!!

Ayeka:� Ah!!!

Tenchi:� Oh my gosh, Ayeka!

Ayeka:� Ah!!! �Ayeka runs off to the Restrooms.

Tenchi:� Uh .... that .... uh .....� All of a sudden Ryoko comes off the Batman.� She looks like she went threw an all night saki-a-thon.� Ryoko!� Are you okay?

Ryoko: Oh...� Blech!

Tenchi:� My shoes!� Ryoko, I think you should get yourself cleaned up.

Ryoko: Good ... idea, oh ...� She runs off to the restrooms.

Tenchi: Since they�re all in the bathroom why don�t I go?� Besides, there�s nothing else better to do.� Tenchi walks off to the restrooms, too.� He enters the men�s restroom.� All the urinals are taken so he walks in a stall.

He hears somebody barf in the stall next to him.� And again.� Again.� Again, again, again.� He knocks on the side of the stall where the barfing creature is.� Hey, man, you OK?� No response.� Mr.?� Are you all right?� No response.� Sir?

Ryoko:� In extremely bewildered and scared voice.� T-Tenchi?� I-Is that you?

Tenchi:� Ryoko?!� Is that you?� What are doing in the men�s bathroom?!

Ryoko:� Still in extremely bewildered and scared voice.� I ... I ... I don�t know.

Tenchi:� Ryoko!� He runs out of his stall and slams open Ryoko�s stall.� Everybody in the washroom turns their heads and stares at Tenchi and Ryoko.� Uh.� Hi!� He waves then picks up Ryoko and carries her out of� the restroom.� Ryoko�s still barf infested.

�����������

Ryoko:� Thanks, Tenchi....

Tenchi:� Just go to the ladies washroom this time.� Ryoko starts to walk off to the ladies restrooms and starts to shift towards the guys restrooms again.� Tenchi slightly turns her and she�s back on track.� Boy, what a day!�

Ayeka:� Tenchi!� Oh, I was such a mess!� Dam that Ryoko and her barfing ways!� Now come on, Tenchi.� Let�s go.

Tenchi:� I need to wait for Ryoko.

Ayeka:� Oh no you don�t!� We are going to leave before she comes out here and ruins more of our clothes!

Tenchi:� But, uh..� Ayeka, I have an idea for us all to get cleaned up a little better!

Ayeka:� Keep talking...

Tenchi:� What if we hit this one water ride I�ve heard about that you get incredibly wet?� That way we�ll be practically taking a shower while we�re here!

Ayeka:� I guess so.� But are you sure this will be like a shower?� Ryoko comes out of the washroom.� She is slightly cleaner but all her clothes look pretty stained.� Well, since your back I guess you can be a part of the decision.

Ryoko:� Uh, okay.

Tenchi:� Want to go to a water ride where we can practically take a shower?

Ryoko:� Sure!

Tenchi:� All right then!� We�re off!� Tenchi and crew all left on their way to the water rides to ride Loggers Run!

John:� On the way there,� Um, guys, we got to cut to a commercial.

Ayeka:� Yea, yea!� Knock yourselves out!� Tenchi, this idea better work!

Ryoko:� I could care less.

Ayeka:� I know you could.

Tenchi:� Come on.� Let�s go.� They start heading to the other side of the park where the �shower� is.� On their way there Ayeka spots some games of chance.

Ayeka:� Oh, Tenchi!� May I please stop to play a few games?

Tenchi:� Uh, okay.� Ayeka runs off to a game.� Tenchi and Ryoko follow.

Ayeka:� This one looks fun.� She chooses a game where you throw the dart at the target.� She gives the person in charge money and he gives her 3 darts.� OK, Ayeka, concentrate...� She throws a dart and it bounces off the target.� She throws another one and it bounces off again.� She throws her last dart and it also bounces off the target.� Oooh...� These things are rubber!

Ryoko:� They�re not rubber.� You�re just weak!� She pays the person and receives 3 darts.� Watch and learn.� She throws all 3 darts at the same time, and they all bounce off.� What?!� Hey, 3 more.� She pays and gets some more darts.� She starts throwing them at the man behind the booth.� Take that you, scam!

Man:� Hey!� Ouch!� Stop!� Go away!

Ryoko:� I think I will.� They walk away and follow Ayeka to another game.

Ayeka:� I can�t lose this one.� It�s too easy.� She pays to play a game where you throw a ball at some bottles and attempt to knock them over.

Ryoko:� Ayeka, with you anything�s possible.

Ayeka:� Shut up, Ryoko!� Let me concentrate!� She throws the ball and it somehow turns backwards and flys at Ayeka� s face.� What?!� Ooof!� Oww my face...

Tenchi:� Ayeka!� Are you okay?� He runs over to her aid.

Ayeka:� Yes, I�m fine.� Thank you, Tenchi.

Tenchi:� Hey, why don�t I try one of the games?

Ayeka:� Yes, that would be good.

Ryoko:� Try that one, Tenchi. She points to a game where you test your strength by smacking a block with a mallet and trying to hit the bell.� It�ll prove how strong you are and how weak Ayeka is.

Ayeka:� Oooh.... shut up, woman!� Give me that mallet!� She snatches the mallet out of the owner�s hand.� This is you, Ryoko!� She gives it a swing at the block. The block goes up, up - Ding!� It hits the bell.� Ha, ha, ha!� I am strong!� Stronger than you�ll ever be!

Ryoko:� Oh?

Ayeka:� Oh.

Tenchi:� Heh, heh, heh.� He sweatdrops , anime style!, and trys to brake them up.� Why don�t I give it a shot?

Ayeka:� Oh, that�s right!� Here, Tenchi.� She gives Tenchi the mallet.

Tenchi:� Thanks.� He plants his feet.� Okaay...� He swings at the block.� It goes up in a flash - Ding!

Ayeka:� Wow, Tenchi!� You�re so strong!

Ryoko:� My turn.� She takes the mallet from Tenchi and gets prepared.� She swings at the block.� All they see is a blur.� The block busts out of the contraption and flys straight into the air.

Tenchi:� Uh, where did it go?

Ryoko:� I don�t know.� It�s long gone.

Tenchi:� Hmm ...� That�s strange.

Ryoko:� Yup, It�s long gone because-

Ayeka: �No, It isn�t!� Tenchi move!!!

Tenchi:� What?� He looks up and he sees the block coming straight down at him!� Wahhhh- �Bonk!� Ohh... �He collapses.

Ayeka:� Master Tenchi!� She rushes over to him. �

Commercial

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����������� And now back to the A and R show!

Ayeka:� Tenchi, speak to me!� Speak to me!!!� She starts shaking him.

Tenchi:� Huh...wuh?� He sits up.

Ryoko:� Your OK!�

Tenchi:� Uh, yah.� I guess.� Come on let�s go to Loggers Run now.� He gets up and they walk over to the Loggers Run�s line.

Ryoko:� After several minutes of waiting.� Oh, this is boring.� Hey, I got an idea.� Hold on tight!� Ryoko grabs Tenchi and Ayeka.

Ayeka: What?� Suddenly Ryoko zaps all the way to the very front of the line still holding Tenchi and Ayeka.

Tenchi:� Wow, thanks Ryoko.� Ryoko puts down Ayeka down.

Ryoko:� We�re next.� Ryoko (Still holding Tenchi) and Aeka walk over to a log boat.� Ryoko sits in the front seat and forces Tenchi to sit there, too.� Ayeka sits in the back seat.

Ayeka:� Hey, let me sit with Tenchi, Ryoko.� You got to bring him here so let me go on the ride with him.� She trys to pull Tenchi into the back seat.� Ryoko pulls back.� Ryoko, stop it!� She pulls harder.� The boat begins to move.

Ryoko:� Give me Tenchi!� She pulls harder.

Ayeka:� No!� She pulls harder.

Tenchi:� Oww!� Quit, please!� Tenchi is practically being torn apart.� Stop, girls!� Owwww!� All of a sudden Ryoko lets go of Tenchi.� Tenchi flys towards Ayeka.

Ayeka:� Eeeeeeeek!

Tenchi:� Ahhhhhhh!� Tenchi hits Aeka but then flips over her and falls backwards out of the boat.

Ryoko:� Tenchi!� Get back in!

Ayeka:� Master Tenchi!� She holds out her hand.� Since the boat isn�t going very fast he easily gets back on and sits with Ayeka.� Ryoko opens her mouth to say something but Ayeka glares at her.

Ryoko:� Hmph!� She crosses her arms over her chest.� The log boat starts to climb up a hill.

Ayeka:� Isn�t this nice Tenchi?� The boat reaches the top and starts to run smoothly threw the half-tunnels.�� Oh, this is the best ride in the park.� A steel bar stops the boat from moving.� Ryoko sees a boat in front of them disappear.� Then a lot of screams.� Ayeka doesn�t seem to notice this.� The steel bar moves away and their boat starts moving again.

Tenchi:� This is going to be fun.� He starts to brace himself.

Ayeka:� Yes, isn�t it Ten-� The boat drops.

Ryoko, Ayeka, and Tenchi: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

SPLASH!!!

Ryoko:� Completly drenched� Oooo!� I�m so clean!� That was more refreshing than I thought!� All right.� I think I�ve had enough fun for one day.� How bout you two?� Ayeka and Tenchi are both upside down and fish are falling out of their shoes.�

Tenchi:� I�ve had enough...� Let�s go.

Ayeka:� Yes, I agreee.� They all wait out the rest of the pleasent ride, get off at the docking bay, exit the ride, walk back to the Six Flags main entrance, and start walking back to the A and R show travel van.

Ryoko:� Oh my gosh!!!� I can�t believe I forgot all about it!� Look!� Ryoko points back to the park.� The American Eagle!� We didn�t ride it!� Come on!� We absoulutly possitivly can�t miss out on that ride!�

Ayeka:� Yea right.� Besides we�re already out in the parking lot and our admission has expired.� We�re not paying that amount of money to get back in the park for only one ride!

Ryoko:� But that�s just it!� Just hold my hand!� Ryoko grabs Ayeka�s left hand and Tenchi�s right hand.� Come on!� She starts to float up in the air and begins to fly towards American Eagle.

Ayeka:� Ahhh!!� Mr. Camera man!� Pass me the camera!� One of the camera men throws a smaller camera to Ayeka as they fly away to the top of the first drop of the roller coster where some passengers are about to go down.

Ryoko:� Finally!� My favorite ride in Six Flags!� Come on now.� Let�s get straped in.� Hmm.. Funny I don�t remember these seats going over your head.� I thought they were just regular carts.� Oh well.

Tenchi:� I don�t think this is the American Eagle, Ryoko.

Ryoko:� Tenchi!� You doubt my roller coaster judgement powers?� I�ve been riding roller coasters before you were born!� I think I would know the American Eagle if I was sitting in it!

Tenchi:� I hope your right...� They all strap in and hold on to some handles on their sides.� The roller coaster climbes its� final feet and just hits the peak.

Wow!� Look, you can see the whole park from here!

Ayeka:� Yes!� There�s the Kareoke.. er..� Bugs Bunny Sing-Along stage!

Tenchi:� And the Richochet!�

Ayeka:� Over there is the Loggers Run! �The games of chance!

Tenchi:� And in that direction you can see the Batman and the restrooms Ryoko puked in!� Ryoko, do you see it?� That sure was a wierd time!� Ryoko?

Ryoko:� What are you talking about kid?� This ride is like fifty years old!� It was in no way constructed last year!� Maybe a new paint job and studier seats but other than that this is still the same old American Eagle I used to ride back in the day before you were born.

Kid:� Lady, I�m telling you!� This isn�t the ride you think it is!� The American Eagle is down their!� That little speck.� We�re on the Raging Bull!� This ride has only been up for a year.� Not to mention my dad rode it last year when it opened and he cried when he got off.� Lady?� Do you hear me Lady?

Ryoko:� ........

Tenchi:� Ryoko?� Did you hear me?� There�s the restrooms.� Ryoko, what�s wrong?

The End